Creating Your Own Rules: A Blueprint for a Life That Works for You

We're often given a blueprint for life that looks something like this: go to school, get a 9-to-5 job, climb the corporate ladder, and retire at 65. For a long time, this was considered the only path to success. But for many, especially those of us who are neurodivergent, this conventional blueprint feels less like a guide and more like a cage. We're wired to think, feel, and create in a way that doesn't always fit into neat, tidy boxes. So, why are we still trying to force ourselves into them?

The truth is, your unique wiring isn't a flaw to be corrected—it’s the source of your greatest strengths. The first step to creating a life that works for you is to stop trying to follow someone else's rules and start designing your own. It's time to create your own blueprint.

Step 1: Identify Your Unique Operating System

The first and most important step is to understand yourself. What do you need to thrive? Think about things like:

• Your energy: Are you a morning person or a night owl? When are you most focused and creative?

• Your environment: Do you thrive in a quiet space or a bustling, collaborative one?

• Your pace: Do you prefer deep work with long breaks, or a steady, consistent rhythm?

• Your motivations: Are you driven by external rewards or by a sense of purpose and meaning?

Journaling on these questions can help you uncover your core needs. Forget about what you “should” be doing and focus on what truly makes you feel alive and engaged.

Step 2: Build Your Life Around Your Needs

Once you understand your unique operating system, you can begin to architect a life that honors it. This might look like:

• Designing your work week: Instead of a rigid 9-to-5, maybe you work on a schedule that aligns with your energy cycles.

• Choosing your clients: Working with people who respect your boundaries and honor your process.

• Defining success on your own terms: Rejecting the idea that a successful life looks a certain way and instead defining it based on your values, your well-being, and your happiness.

Creating your own rules is a radical act of self-acceptance. It’s an ongoing process of listening, adjusting, and unapologetically building a life and career that are a true reflection of who you are. The blueprint is yours to design, and it’s time to start drawing.

Navigating Transitions: What My Journey from the Philippines to Paris Taught Me About Embracing Change

Life is a series of transitions, whether we’re changing jobs, moving to a new city, or simply growing into a new version of ourselves. Each one brings its own blend of excitement and fear, of opportunity and uncertainty. For me, one of the most significant transitions was my journey from the vibrant, tropical chaos of the Philippines to the elegant, structured beauty of Paris.

The move wasn’t just a change of scenery; it was a complete shift in every aspect of my life. From the language and culture to the pace of daily life, everything was different. I found myself in a new world where I didn't have my established support system, my familiar rhythms, or the certainty of what came next. In those early days, the weight of the unknown felt heavy, and it would have been easy to get lost in my fear of it all.

But what this transition taught me, and what I now believe to my core, is that vulnerability isn't a weakness—it's an essential part of the process. I had to let go of the need to have all the answers and instead embrace the quiet moments of discomfort and not-knowing. I had to learn to ask for help, to lean on new connections, and to find courage in the small, daily triumphs, like navigating the metro or ordering a baguette with confidence.

Change has a way of stripping us of what we’ve always known, forcing us to discover new strengths we never knew we had. It's an invitation to get to know yourself on a deeper level—to find resilience and purpose not in the external world, but within.

If you’re in the midst of your own transition, know this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. Just like my journey from the Philippines to Paris, your path is unfolding one step at a time. The real goal isn't to get to the end but to be present for every part of the ride.

The Art of Looking Inward: Practical Steps for Finding Your Own Answers

In a world that constantly tells us what to do, what to be, and what to think, it's easy to lose sight of our own voice. We're bombarded with advice, opinions, and "should" from every direction, leaving us feeling disconnected from our intuition. But what if the most powerful guidance you'll ever receive doesn't come from an external source? What if it's already within you?

My coaching philosophy is built on this very idea: that you are the expert on your own life. All the answers you seek—the clarity, the purpose, the next right step—are waiting to be found when you learn to turn your attention inward. It's not about magic or mystique; it's a practice, an art form that anyone can learn.

Exercise 1: The 60-Second Inward Scan

This is an exercise you can do anywhere, at any time, to reconnect with yourself.

1. Find a quiet space: Even if it's just in your car before you go into the grocery store.

2. Close your eyes (if it feels safe): Gently bring your attention to your breath. Feel the air as it enters and leaves your body.

3. Scan your body: Starting from the top of your head, slowly move your awareness down to your toes. Notice any tension, any lightness, any sensations at all without judgment. Are your shoulders tight? Is your jaw clenched? Just notice.

4. Check in with your feelings: As you do this, ask yourself: "What am I feeling right now?" Don't overthink it. Is it joy, anxiety, peace, or something in between? Just acknowledge it.

This simple exercise helps you get out of your head and into your body, creating space to hear what you truly need.

Exercise 2: The Three-Question Journaling Prompt

Journaling is a powerful tool for self-discovery, and it doesn't have to be a big, intimidating task. All you need is a pen, a piece of paper, and three simple questions to get to the heart of what's on your mind.

For a situation where you feel stuck or uncertain, ask yourself these questions and write down whatever comes to mind, without editing.

1. What's the one thing I'm pretending not to know about this situation?

2. What's the best-case scenario if I follow my intuition?

3. What's the worst-case scenario if I follow my intuition?

The answers you write down may surprise you. They often reveal truths we've been subconsciously pushing away.

By practicing these small acts of looking inward, you're not just finding answers—you're building a foundation of trust with yourself. You're learning to rely on your own compass, and that is a skill that will serve you for a lifetime.

Embrace Neurodiversity: Turn Weaknesses into Strengths

For more than a decade, I tried to fit into a mold that was never designed for me. It wasn't until I stopped fighting who I was and began to lean into my neurodiversity that everything changed. By embracing my authentic self and allowing my unique superpowers to emerge, I’ve not only grown as a leader, but I've been able to serve my team more deeply and meaningfully. Today, I am more content and fulfilled in every part of my life, from my work to my business and beyond.

For so long, we’ve been told to fix our flaws. To smooth out the edges, to quiet the "distractions," and to try and fit into a box that was never built for us. But what if the very things you've been conditioned to see as weaknesses are actually your greatest strengths?

This is the core of the neurodivergent approach to growth. It's about recognizing that our brains are simply wired differently, and that this difference isn't a deficit—it’s a powerful form of human variation. Instead of fighting against who you are, what if you learned to see those perceived flaws as genuine superpowers waiting to be unleashed?

From 'Easily Distracted' to Unstoppable Deep Focus

You know that feeling when a topic grabs you and you lose all sense of time? The world fades away, and you're completely immersed in the task at hand. You’ve probably been told that this is a sign you’re easily distracted, or that you need more discipline.

But what if I told you that's not distraction—it's hyperfocus. It's your secret weapon, an ability to achieve an unparalleled level of concentration. This is the superpower that allows you to master a new skill in record time, dive deep into a complex problem, or create a truly intricate piece of art. It’s not a lack of discipline; it’s a direct line to your creative genius.

From 'Overly Sensitive' to Profound Empathy

Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt the emotions of everyone there? It can be overwhelming, like you're carrying a weight that isn't yours to bear. The world often calls this "sensitivity," a trait to be managed or overcome.

But this isn't a flaw in your emotional wiring; it’s a profound gift. This intense empathy is what allows you to build incredibly strong, authentic connections. It enables you to truly listen and understand what people need, often before they can even articulate it themselves. This makes you a powerful, compassionate leader and a trusted guide. You see the world through a different lens, and that is an invaluable skill.

From 'Doesn't Fit In' to Radical Innovation

If you've ever felt like a misfit for questioning the rules or challenging "the way things have always been done," you're not alone. The world often misinterprets your resistance to conformity as a lack of teamwork.

But your brain isn’t wired for the status quo; it’s wired for what's next. Your ability to think differently is the engine of innovation. You see connections no one else does, you notice hidden patterns, and you’re constantly thinking of new ways to solve old problems. Your tendency to ask "why" isn’t a liability—it's your greatest asset.

Embrace Your Superpowers

The real work isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about building a life that celebrates your unique wiring, instead of fighting against it. When you stop trying to minimize what makes you different and start learning how to unapologetically amplify your truths, you’ll discover a level of fulfillment you never thought possible.